Looking back at the first months and years of my children’s lives, I would agree with those that say humans have an instinct or inborn trait for conflict, and I would add that’s it's closely tied to the fulfillment of our needs, whether those needs be physical, mental, emotional or psychological. From very early on, my little ones let me know when what I was or was not doing for them conflicted with what they wanted.
Growing up myself in a family of four children, I would have to say that an instinct for conflict was of great value. It didn’t take long for me to discover that my thoughts, wants and desires often conflicted with those of my siblings and parents. Learning how to reconcile what I thought and wanted with what other people were thinking and wanted; and the conflict that arose because these things were different or sometimes the same; taught me empathy, tolerance, forbearance, negotiation and collaboration.
I believe an instinct for conflict makes us more human. It provides an opportunity for personal growth and for becoming a better, more compassionate human being.
Lee -
ReplyDeleteI appreciated you bringing up the angle of conflict in how it relates to sibling rivalries within the family dynamic. Growing up, I was the oldest of three kids, and, needless to say, I experienced my fair share of conflict.
At the time, conflict was seen as a bad thing - my brother borrows my i-pod without first asking permission, for example.
These small, annoying instances function to teach us conflict resolution skills, they help improve our understanding of what motivates others to do things. Arguments like these demonstrate the need for us to approach problems with calmness and a willingness to consider the other persons perspective. Sibling conflict is a key ingredient in children learning “life lessons” and people skills - skills that, hopefully, will continue to develop on throughout their adult lives.
I agree with you on how conflict is an inborn trait. Your reasons are valid and on point with discussion. When I first read the discussion question I was sure that conflict was an in born trait. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it very well can be a natural trait. I like how you related your source to childhood because it is so true. We have the natural instinct as a baby to want the fulfillment of our needs and the way we express what we need is through conflict. I also grew up with a lot of siblings and you are right, conflict is more prone to happen. It defiantly helps shape who you become and how to solve issues peacefully.
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