The concept of “meta-conflict perspective” in this week's reading hit home with me. The authors write, “In conflict, the ability to take a meta-conflict perspective means that you can look back on the conflicts you have experienced, analyze what you did well and what you did poorly, and learn from your mistakes.”
For a long time, this has been my methodology for everything, including conflict. When I started seriously wanting to do some work to better myself, I started by analyzing my actions at the end of each day. If I didn’t live up to what I wanted from myself, I would tell myself, “You’re better than that; that’s not like you. You’re going to do better starting tomorrow.”
Now it’s a habit. I analyze my day, my work, my actions and my interactions with other people, including conflicts, to figure out how I could have handled things better and what I would do in the future when similar situations come up. In other words, I work hard to learn from my mistakes.
Just because I’ve done this analyzing for so long doesn’t make it easier for me to change my behavior; I may learn from my mistakes, but changing and improving my behavior is always an ongoing struggle.
Hey Lee,
ReplyDeleteI really like the concept you chose. Looking back at our own mistakes can be very hard. Many people continue to do the same mistakes, but if we took a deep look into our past and analyze it, we can better ourselves and as the author says, learn from our mistakes.
I think your choice of wanting to do some work to better yourself is great. You took the first step by analyzing your daily life. People should do this and like you, they most likely will make it a habit and will begin learning from past mistakes without even realizing it.
Change is definitely not easy, but we all should start somewhere. Good luck with your goals!
To combat conflicts the only way is to forget the differences among people around us and collectively draw an honest creative solution in their common interests. It sounds too easy to be implemented in our lives, but practically is a difficult task. However, we can actually work towards resolving conflicts step by step. So just like you practice 'meta-conflict perspective' in your day to day life,the first step being how to analyze our response in tricky conflicting situations and improvise from there. I have been using this technique for a long time, but did’nt know its technical name. Most of the times after executing ‘meta-conflict perspective,’ I am surprised myself about how well I handled the conflicting situation smartly. Well as a matter of fact it is a tried and tested technique at least with people known to you. I am saying this because your previous experiences teach you how to respond to the person in front of you in conflicting situations. I have implemented it several times on my better half, and believe me it works.
ReplyDeleteLee,
ReplyDeleteI agree with your view on self-reflection. By analyzing the mistakes that we’ve already made we can succeed in avoiding future mistakes in our everyday lives, including conflicts. I can recall one time when my husband and I were discussing sleeping arrangements for our two young boys. My husband was suggesting we help them become more independent by implementing a little tough love and not let them fall asleep with us in our bed. We had had the conversation so many times before, that this particular time I said o.k. knowing the whole time that I did not intend on letting them cry themselves to sleep. Looking back now, I realize how my dishonesty may have made him feel dismissed and unimportant. If I could do it all over again I would be more forthcoming with my reservations. Explaining how difficult it would have been for me to hear my babies calling out to me would have been honest, more respectful, and may have even convinced him to ignore the issue a little longer. Looking back now I can definitely see where I went wrong and can say that I have learned from my mistake.
Good for you for taking to reflect and analyze your day to day actions. If more people took the time to do this, I believe there would be less conflict and more understanding. If one does not recognize their behavior, they cannot learn from their mistakes.
ReplyDeleteIt is often difficult to reognize your behavior in the heat of the moment, which is why it good to look back at the conflict with a clear and open mind. It is then that we will have a better understanding of the situation and what transpired.
I agree that changing and improving behavior is a an ongoing struggle, as there is always room for improvement.
I think that you have a very interesting point here Lee, I feel like me and you in this instance think a lot alike, this concept to me is very important in reaching the prime of your daily life, its just like working out at the gym you workout, track your progress, and everyday you strive to become better. We live in an inperfect world, that will always allow us to get better because it is nearly impossible to be perfect. I think that behavior is a struggle that many people have because they dont know how to control certain situations, but I think if we continue to try to improve we will only be doing the people around us, and ourselves justice. Good Post!
ReplyDeleteAteschera