What I Learned

What I learned over the course of the semester were different ways to look at and deal with conflict in my personal and professional life. I’ve certainly had my share of conflicts and, as I learned was quite typical, I’ve always dreaded conflict. I can’t say I no longer dread conflict; however, the course has given me tools that should help me deal more effectively with conflicts using methods that benefit me and the person with whom I am in conflict. In addition, I am eager to help my family members deal more effectively with conflict using the tools I have learned such as the Stop, Think, Listen, and Communicate (S-TLC) system of resolving interpersonal conflicts, and “I-statements.”

I’ve always provided a good shoulder for people to cry and vent on; however, I’ve learned in this class although there is a need for ventilation at times, it can easily cause a person to focus on the wrong that was done to them and not the part they played. In addition, if the anger isn’t directed to the person responsible, venting can rehearse the problem and actually increase it. I don’t want to play a role in increasing a problem, so I’m definitely going to be aware of this when people start to vent to me.

I learned names for things I’ve noticed, such as anger-in, anger-out and anger controllers. I’ve heard about negotiation, but now feel comfortable enough to try it. I now understand the importance of forgiveness on mental and physical health, and that reconciliation is a choice and doesn’t necessarily have to follow forgiveness.

I could go on and on with what I’ve learned. The important part is that what I have learned I’ve been able to apply personally to myself, something I can’t say has happened with most of the other classes I’ve taken. The work and effort I put into this class has been well worthwhile!