The concept that interested me this week is one that hits close to home. The authors of our book wrote, “While people develop reliable tacit knowledge about the other, they generally fail as mind readers.”
My husband and I have been married for many years. I think I know him quite well. I find myself thinking I know why he says what he does, and that I know what he is thinking without him telling me. Perhaps sometimes I do; however, am I really valuing him as a person when I assume I know him well enough to speak for him? In all honesty, no.
The authors refer back to this idea later in the chapter when they write about a misassumption that “seduces us into depersonalized communication.” This misassumption they’re writing about is that we think others don’t change much and that we can predict their behavior.
I can guess what my husband means by what he says and I can guess at what he’s thinking, but just the same as I do, my husband can change over time and grow as a person, so I really do need to stop assuming that I automatically know what he’s thinking and what his side of a conversation actually means.
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