In the heat of the moment in a conflict, I have found it hard to stop a conflict, and sometimes still do. I believe this is because my emotional state makes it hard for me to think clearly. Many years of experiencing conflicts have led to better handling of conflicts. The advice I would give others who have trouble stopping a conflict is the same advice I would give people on how to take a “time out.” I would suggest that they try doing as I try to do. I ask myself, “Is this conflict worth it?”
Until I read Chapter 4 of our textbook, I didn’t know that after many years of experiencing conflicts, I was using the “S-TLC” (stop, think, listen, communicate) method of managing conflicts. Asking myself, “Is this conflict worth it?” makes me stop and think if continuing the conflict will be beneficial in the long run. Once I decide that it is worth pursuing, I’m usually calmed down enough to decide if I need to walk away from the situation for awhile before pursuing the conflict, or if I’m ready for the conflict.
If I decide to walk away, I will say something to the person I’m in conflict with such as, “I’m too upset right now to talk. When I’m calmed down, I’ll come back.”
If I’m ready to continue the conflict, since I’m no longer in the heat of the moment because I’ve already stopped to think if the conflict is worth pursuing, I’m able to think, as the book writes, about my “goals, wants, and needs an those of (my) partner.” Stopping to think also makes it easier for me to stop to listen to what is being said by the person with whom I’m in conflict. Finally, since I’ve stopped to think and listen, I’m much more likely to take the time to figure out how best to communicate to effectively manage the conflict.
You are very true sometimes after the conflict; I feel was the conflict really worth so much of my time, energy, and emotional uproar. I think it encounters after the conflict to me because, I do not think while in conflict, as I never take stops in between to calm down. A right time out very truly would make me think about the dispute I am in rationally. I must say you handle conflicts very smartly by implementing STLC method, as far as I am concerned, if I stop in a conflict that means I am ready to give up which is called as Accommodating. I sure need to implement time out technique to maintain a balance while in conflicts, which will help me think about the issue reasonably with cool head.
ReplyDelete